Comments on: The Weedy Garden of Familyhood http://weblogs.swarthmore.edu/burke/2009/07/13/the-weedy-garden-of-familyhood/ Culture, Politics, Academia and Other Shiny Objects Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:45:07 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: Valerie http://weblogs.swarthmore.edu/burke/2009/07/13/the-weedy-garden-of-familyhood/comment-page-1/#comment-6756 Valerie Wed, 29 Jul 2009 03:09:17 +0000 http://weblogs.swarthmore.edu/burke/?p=919#comment-6756 It's true, there's a lot more shared time between kids and parents these days, but the very presence of parents reduces the adventure factor on the kid side pretty significantly. If Dad is there to pick you up when you fall, it can be a fun time, but it's just really not the same. The fact that he's there at all relegates the activity to "parentally approved" in a way which starts making a big difference by the time one is 9 or 10. Not that I would trade those joint "adventures" for anything, mind you -- my 20 year old wrote me a sweet note for my birthday this year about how he attributes much of his optimism to having had a mom who was up for going along with his idea to follow the creekbed to see where it went. But having been free to do kid-only exploration in my own childhood, I'm pretty clear on the difference, and feel fortunate to have been able to give my kids the latitude to have REAL adventures, the kind that happened without me in tow. It’s true, there’s a lot more shared time between kids and parents these days, but the very presence of parents reduces the adventure factor on the kid side pretty significantly. If Dad is there to pick you up when you fall, it can be a fun time, but it’s just really not the same. The fact that he’s there at all relegates the activity to “parentally approved” in a way which starts making a big difference by the time one is 9 or 10.

Not that I would trade those joint “adventures” for anything, mind you — my 20 year old wrote me a sweet note for my birthday this year about how he attributes much of his optimism to having had a mom who was up for going along with his idea to follow the creekbed to see where it went.

But having been free to do kid-only exploration in my own childhood, I’m pretty clear on the difference, and feel fortunate to have been able to give my kids the latitude to have REAL adventures, the kind that happened without me in tow.

]]>